As I waited for the valet after watching “Rumor Has It” in Eastwood last Friday (loved the film!), I heard a group of college kids engaged in a fun conversation while waiting for their own ride.
They spoke in a manner that brandished their privileged status in life – as in bawal ang Tagalog. And for a moment there, I thought I was still listening to those Hollywood actors. Swabe ng mga accent. I got irked. I could tell my friend thought the same way. It struck me like they were trying to sound that way ‘on purpose.’ In-eeffort!
I tried hard not to look at them condescendingly, to take the high road and ignore them. But I couldn’t help but think how they are really no different from those people who engage in gay-speak (swardspeak, ayon nga sa Manila By Night). Ang pagkakaiba lang, imbis na ‘chuva’ at ‘chorva’ at ‘itechi-mae’ (I have to thank Forsyth for these), their sentences were peppered with ‘guys,’ ‘dude,’ and ‘man.’ I found it funny that for all the effort they exert in distinguishing themselves, they ended up looking exactly like the people I’m sure they’d least want to be associated with. I had this urge to come up to them and say, “Alam nyo, you’re no different.”
That made stop and think.
In my head, I couldn’t make a distinction between those two groups. None the worse.
So what is it about them that pissed me off? It wasn’t that they’re speaking in a jacked up volume like they’re the only ones there, unmindful if other people were grudgingly drawn into their conversations by becoming forced eavesdroppers. That couldn’t have been the reason because God knows we’ve been that group of people to others. I’m sure, at one time or another, I’ve been that person whose laughter was ringing high above everyone else’s voice in Coffee Bean. Hindi rin naman dahil sa nag-iingles sila. E ako rin naman e. Di rin dahil nag-ta-Taglish sila. Hello, me ren kaya!
I realized it was simply the fact that they spoke differently from me. Kung jologs yung mga yon, na nagkakantsawan at nag-iinglisan na mali naman ang bigkas, I’d just be as pissed. I started chanting “You’re no different” silently, calmly, in my head. But this time, to myself. Amazingly, it helped
So there, since it’s almost the new year of the fire dog, and we should always resolve to become better people, I’m adapting that new mantra.
“I’m no different… I’m no different… I’m no different.” It’s a matter of perspective. To others, I’m just as jologs, as coño, as nauseating as they are to me.
****
On another note…
I’m pasting, as post script to the preceding rumination, this remotely connected set of lyrics a friend of mine asked me to write. Now this was really weird. I mean, having to write the song that follows below. But it was fun doing it!
(Kunwari pa ko e. Yung sa taas, pilít na lead-in ko lang yon para ma-justify ang pag-post ko ng aking first novelty composition, hehehe…)
It’s prolly not gonna be produced anyway, so it might as well have its world debut online. It deserves that, at least!
CERTIFIED JOLOG
Sa bawat taong masasalubong
Di kailang sa iba’y maiilang
Dun sa kung maglakad, noo’y angat
Kahit damit ay kupas, ilong ay sarat
Sa bawat taong masasalubong
Di kailang sa kanila’y iilan
Kakatawa man ang kilos, di nalalaos
Walang kiyeme sa pagiging tameme
CHORUS:
Sa lahat ng ito, sabay sabay tumango
Walang sosy at hindi, sa taong totoo
Mukha mang sabog, isigaw sa utaw
Certified jolog, ihiyaw, ihiyaw!
Kilala ang sarili at di nagsisisi
Ngiti’y abot-tenga kahit bulsa’y sinulsi
Sabihan mang baduy, salat sa pera
Di uubrahan, tatawanan ang problema
Lalong walastik tayong hindi plastik
Walang nila-“lang,” hindi naiilang
Pagkat iba pa rin ang walang ere sa sarili
Maging masaya sa pagiging simple
CHORUS:
May katok man ay patok, barat man ay angat
Ingiti mo na lang, sabihin sa lahat
Hitsura at tunog, galaw, pananaw
Certified jolog, ihiyaw, ihiyaw!
Pakatotoo, itaas ang noo
Walang dapat ikahiya ang taong totoo
Basta’t Pinoy, galaw, pananaw
Certified jolog, ihiyaw, ihiyaw!
Basta’t Pinoy, galaw, pananaw
Certified jolog, ihiyaw, ihiyaw!
CODA:
Basta’t Pinoy, galaw, pananaw
Walang kakabog, (UNDENIABLE!)
di malalamog (CERTIFIABLE!)
Certified jologs,
Isigaw, isigaw!
***
I can just tell. This is the next Ocho-Ocho!
